The trip was made all the more special by the fact that one of our Year 11 students, Faith, had won a national competition to write an updated version of the Porter's Speech. In the play, the Porter delivers a comic monologue in which he pretends that he is guarding the gates of hell and describes some of the people who he thinks deserve a place in hell. Students were set the challenge of making a list of habits that might annoy a modern teenage audience, and Faith's speech was the winner, meaning that her words have been performed on stage at the Globe for the entire run of this production. Her jokes about social media, fake activists and AI cheats have had audiences roaring with laughter, and she was even mentioned in a Guardian review, which you can read here: https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2025/mar/14/macbeth-review-shakespeares-globe-london

As well as seeing the play with the rest of Year 11, Faith also received free tickets to go back and watch it again with her family where she was presented with her certificate. Faith writes: 

The production at the Globe in London was an unforgettable experience! Seeing Macbeth performed in such an iconic setting made it even more special. One of the standout moments for me was the incredible use of acrobatics—the cast did not just act; they leapt, flipped, and fought with such energy that it brought the battlefield to life right in front of us.
Another highlight was getting to meet the cast after the show. It was amazing to hear how much the Porter actor himself loves my modern Porter’s speech and how he enjoys bringing it to life in each performance. Knowing that my words are being performed at every Macbeth showing is surreal , and hearing their enthusiasm for it made the experience even more incredible. But the best moment of all was being brought up on stage in front of the entire Globe audience to receive my certificate. Being congratulated in front of everyone was an experience I will never forget. 

You can read Faith's updated version of the speech below. She will also be performing her speech to the whole school in this term's final assembly. Many congratulations to Faith on this magnificent achievement! 

Mr Dilley - Head of English Department

Faith's modern version of the Porter's Speech: 

[Knocking]
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ah, here’s the ‘Snap-streak hero’, losing sleep over his 300-day streak but couldn’t be bothered to show up to school on time. "Send a blank screen! Quick!” they yell, as if the apocalypse is coming. Mate, come on in. There’s no streaks in hell - just flames.

[Knocking]
Knock, knock! Who’s next? Oh, it’s the ‘fake activist’, shouting about saving the planet on TikTok while holding a £7 iced latte in a cup the size of a water cooler. “Earth first,” he preaches—but you were spotted at the fast-fashion sale last week, weren’t you? Come in, greenwasher! It’s hot enough in here to melt your hashtags.

[Knocking]
Knock, knock, knock! Who’s this? Ah, it’s the teacher’s pet turned cheat, bragging about their perfect grades—until we found the AI essay generator open on their laptop. Swore they did it all “on their own,” didn’t they? Well, come on in, cheater; hell’s got no shortcuts, and no bots to bail you out.

[Knocking]

Still knocking? What is this, a queue for the new iPhone? Fine! Come in—the Snap addicts, the hypocrites, the cheaters, the influencers with more filters than friends. You’ve scrolled, swiped, and faked your way here. And now? Welcome to hell. Don’t worry—you’ll still get notifications. They just say “LOL, you’re doomed.”